Anxiety

For the most part, Anxiety sucks. Seizes your head and makes your hands all dumb and shaky. I am a stomach trouble chic. Can't deal with stuff goes straight to the gut, my common sense. Money, kids, work, love (ill), family....

Knowing that putting off what I need to do next does NOT help, I am stuck. I can write. I speak well. I love to learn. I am a procrastinator. I hate pressure, though I work extremely well under it. I am also an escape artist....sheesh. I can run faster than a speeding bullet to dodge an ass kickin' knowing full well that I'm just headed in it's direction no matter what. My personal BS trips me out, i work at shoveling it out of the way better, daily.

Turning any situation around requires you use your head most of the time. The heart being so selfish can't always be trusted. Like the congregation that's known you since you were born. They'll let you sing your heart out and praise you for it. Even though the stained glass in the building is about to shatter from your discord...the heart. Planning ahead is key, but being underemployed, and planning is a bit of fuckery. I'm not alone with it. Too many of us have the same issue. I'm sure if I dig deeper and hold myself hostage, I can get some much needed manueveuring done. Too much to think about, really...

Well that's pretty much all I have to say at this point. I will continue to tarry on at this thing called existence....so glad I believe in God.